UCI is not known for being a party school, which is great from a hygienic perspective when looking for the right place to, well, take care of business.

Yet, it is still a place full of frat boys, nervous Nellies, and some who just don’t know when to say no at the local bar. All this makes for a still nasty bathroom experience, most of the time that is.

UCI is huge. When you need to use the restroom, you don’t really have the patience to be browsy. That same strategy is shared by other Anteaters. So, if you see a conveniently placed restroom, chances are it’s not as convenient when you get in.

First rule, never use a restroom on Ring Road. Unless you had bad sushi, every Anteater will walk the Ring Road path, making adjacent restrooms excessively convenient. In other words, there have been more than one visitor there already today, so best to hold it.

Choosing the right bathroom is like choosing the right girl—you don’t go where the masses have gone unless you need a quick fix, you’re desperate, or a bit drunk.

The best places for going to the restrooms are the most hygienic, which means the least amount of foot traffic. Avoid Ring Road. Avoid cafeterias. The best places are class buildings, in the heart of the beast. For example, many students have classes in the Steinhouse building, but most are going to class, trying not to fall asleep, and leaving for their next class of torture—how many go to that building just to go to the restroom? Exactly—if it’s out of the way, you’re on your way to a calm, clean number one or two.

Sadly, be wary. If it’s inconvenient for students, it’s also a bit inconvenient for the janitors…

Where’s your favorite bathroom?

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